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From Ms. Independent to Mrs. Mom: Learning the Art of Partnership Without a Blueprin

Who knew shared grocery lists and diaper duty could be so… bonding?


I’ll be the first to admit that I did not grow up with a vision of the “perfect marriage” in front of me. In my home, women ran the show, full-stop. My Gran, mom, my aunts—these were women who handled everything with authority, grace, and just a pinch of don’t-mess-with-me energy. I grew up in a household of strong, independent women who taught me to balance a budget, fix a leaky faucet, and tackle life head-on without depending on anyone else. Marriage? I didn’t see much of that growing up if at all, and honestly, it sounded more like a plot twist than a plan. I was Ms. Independent through and through. So, imagine my surprise when I went from Ms. Independent, fiercely single and proud of it, to Mrs. Doc, with “wife” and “mom” stamped onto my resume.

No one ever mentioned the finer details of sharing—sharing space, sharing feelings, and yes, sharing snacks too! But then, life threw a curveball—and suddenly, there I was, saying “I do” and stepping into a world I’d only ever seen on TV. So, what’s it really like to go from “single and self-sufficient” to “wife and mother”? If you’re imagining picture-perfect dinner tables and candlelit dates, let me set the record straight. It’s more like learning to cook a meal without burning it while dodging Legos, spilling milk, and realizing you just ran out of dish soap… again. It’s been a journey, but one filled with humor, humility, and ultimately, a deep appreciation for the strange, beautiful, and occasionally sticky institution called marriage.


The Great Realization: Independence Meets Partnership

Now, I’d always seen myself as an independent woman—a one-person army. But marriage? It taught me that sometimes, teamwork makes the dream work. I learned that my partner and I are a unit, and this requires a bit of balance.

Take grocery shopping, for instance. I used to be able to dash in and out, grabbing only what I needed. Now? Oh, there’s a list. A lengthy one. And if I dare to skip an item, I will hear about it. Turns out, “teamwork” in marriage sometimes looks a lot like a very thorough shopping list.

Marriage Is Its Own Comedy

To be fair, nothing has brought more laughter into my life than marriage. Like the time I discovered that my husband had a particular way of cooking stew. I thought I was efficient, but no, apparently there is a right way to do it. Even if the onions go in last. Who's checking?!

And I had my fair share of quirks, too. My wardrobe, for instance, was packed with every kind of fancy heel, because heels were my “signature.” But now? Let’s just say my go-to shoes are slippers, and my “date night outfits” are chosen for comfort. The best part is that I don’t even miss the heels—I’ve traded them for laughter, warmth, and knowing I’m loved in my fluffy socks.

Learning to Be a Devoted Mom (Hint: There’s No Manual for This)

Being a mom is one of those roles that instantly knocks you off any pedestal of perfection you might have clung to. There’s no manual, no guidebook on how to do it “right.” My days are a mix of “didn’t I just feed you?” and “where is your other shoe?” all while trying to maintain some level of sanity. But the first time that little voice called me “mama,” all the chaos felt worth it.

Transitioning from “my life, my rules” to the beautiful mess of motherhood hasn’t been easy. I’m not the woman who has her life perfectly ordered, but that’s the joy in it. Motherhood—and marriage—teaches you that life isn’t about being in control. It’s about being present, even when your hair is a mess and you’re covered in toddler finger paint.

Finding Beauty in the Chaos

Marriage, for me, has been a slow, sometimes hilarious awakening to a life I never knew I wanted. Growing up, I didn’t see this modeled. But now, in the midst of the everyday madness, I’m finding that this “institution” is really just about choosing each other, even on the messy days.

Because at the end of it all, it’s not the candlelit dinners or perfectly posed family photos that make it worthwhile. It’s the midnight giggles, the knowing glances across a room, and the daily reminder that you’ve chosen this person. And when you do marriage right, it’s beautiful—not in its perfection, but in its reality.

Let’s Celebrate the Journey

So, to all the Ms. Independents stepping into marriage or motherhood, or are somewhere in between all of that - know that the transition might not look like the movies—and that’s the best part. Embrace the quirks, the laughter, and the sheer unpredictability of it all. Life in this phase is a beautiful, wild ride, and you’re not alone.

Now, I want to hear from you—what’s been the funniest or most surprising lesson you’ve learned in marriage or motherhood? Share in the comments, and let’s laugh through this journey together.


Lots of Love! 

Mrs Mom Thang☺

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