The In-Betweens

Who knew shared grocery lists and diaper duty could be so… bonding? I’ll be the first to admit that I did not grow up with a vision of the “perfect marriage” in front of me. In my home, women ran the show, full-stop. My Gran, mom, my aunts—these were women who handled everything with authority, grace, and just a pinch of don’t-mess-with-me energy. I grew up in a household of strong, independent women who taught me to balance a budget, fix a leaky faucet, and tackle life head-on without depending on anyone else. Marriage? I didn’t see much of that growing up if at all, and honestly, it sounded more like a plot twist than a plan. I was Ms. Independent through and through. So, imagine my surprise when I went from Ms. Independent, fiercely single and proud of it, to Mrs. Doc, with “wife” and “mom” stamped onto my resume. No one ever mentioned the finer details of sharing —sharing space, sharing feelings, and yes, sharing snacks too! But then, life threw a curveball—and suddenly, there I wa...

When life throws a curveball... So here’s a confession: I didn’t plan on landing here, in this space between what I dreamed of and what life handed me. I studied and trained to be a civil engineer, with blueprints and big projects in my future. I imagined designing sky-scrapers and seeing the construction through on a daily...But life—always the plot twist enthusiast—had other plans, and I found myself letting go of that career path in 2022. Or it, let go of me. Dropped me like a Hot potato.  And just like that, I was no longer on a building site or inspecting structures. Instead, I was in a classroom, teaching the next generation of engineers, while wondering how I’d landed here in this… in-between.  Because that’s what this phase feels like, doesn’t it? Not quite what I’d set my sights on, but somewhere I needed to be, if only to keep things going. If you’re in an “in-between” phase of your own—whether it’s after a job loss, just got married, a life change, or maybe just the...

Is it normal to feel resentful when my partner's life doesn’t seem to skip a beat? The Reality Check Ah, motherhood—round two. This time, I figured I knew what I was in for. “ I’ve done this before!” I thought, “I’m ready! ” Spoiler alert: I was infact not ready. Being a new mom again is like getting tossed back into the rollercoaster after you’ve finally staggered off and regained your footing. Only this time, the ride feels even wilder. My days are now a blur of endless diaper changes, midnight feeds, and a very real personal relationship with caramel iced coffee. The daily schedule? Survival mode. And while I absolutely adore this tiny human and wouldn’t trade them for anything, I can’t help but notice a glaring difference between my life and my partner’s these days: my “social” life is limited to the pediatrician’s waiting room and the occasional wave to a neighbor, while his? It’s… still there. The Social Life Split Let me set the scene. Baby is finally asleep after what feels...

I thought I had it all figured out... then baby #2 arrived! So...I used to think I had this motherhood thing down. With one child, you eventually settle into some sort of a rhythm. You start to remember which side of the baby grows a diaper goes on, figure out how to make snacks out of thin air, and maybe even get a few hours of sleep (in a row—imagine!). Life with one child becomes a manageable  chaos, and just when you think you're a seasoned pro—boom! You decide to add another little human to the mix.  Oh, sweet, naive, past-me… how little I knew.😱😱 The Rookie Mistake Back when I was pregnant with baby #2, I caught myself saying absurd things like, "It can't be that  different, right? I mean, we’re already in baby mode." Hahahaha.  Oh, Tshenolo, bless your sweet heart. The truth is, the transition from one to two is not just a “level up” in parenting—it’s like entering a whole new video game where the rules change without warning. If life with one child was like...

  Hey, lovely soul! 🌸 Welcome to my first post on The In-Betweens ! I thought there’d be no better way to kick things off than by diving into something that’s at the very heart of my life—balancing motherhood and career. If you’re anything like me, you know this balancing act feels more like a daily juggling show, with no shortage of dropped balls. But somehow, we keep it all in the air, right? For those of you meeting me for the first time, I’m Tshenolo—a mom to two little ones, a wife, and a civil engineer. Though I haven’t worked in the field since August 2022, I’ve transitioned to part-time lecturing, which means I spend most of my days at home. This shift came from a strong urge to be more available for my family while still staying connected to my passion for teaching and engineering. Between managing toddler tantrums, lecturing, and trying to sneak in some creativity through podcasting and video creation, I’ve learned a few things about how to keep my sanity intact while na...

  Deep Inhale...and EX-HAAAALE! Welcome to The In-Betweens! Hey, my lovely! 🌸 I’m so excited to have you here in my little corner of the internet. You might be wondering what  The In-Betweens  is all about. Well, it's where I get real about this crazy, wonderful, messy space between where I  dream  my life would be and where it  actually  is right now. You know what I mean, right? It’s that in-between space where you’re juggling everything, trying to live your best life, while sometimes just surviving the day. So, let me introduce myself. I’m a 29-year-old mom of two beautiful kiddos—a curious 4-year-old and a snuggly newborn—who keep me on my toes. I’m also a wife to my best friend and the absolute BEST dad in the world (he'll probably side-eye me after reading this, but oh well...) Oh, and when I’m not playing supermom or hunting for the last bit of caffeine, I’m a civil engineer and part-time lecturer. Yup, life is full, and sometimes a little chao...